Girl Scouts vs. Waldorf

 It has been a long time since I've encountered Waldorfian snobbery. I forgot how demeaning it is. After a fun filled day with thousands of Girl Scouts, I was caught unaware. My daughter and I were beaming with "girl power" happiness and cute cookie kick off badges when we walked into the dank rudeness that my daughter must live with now that a Waldorf teacher will soon be her step mother.

  She sat on a stool, lord of her kitchen while my daughter and I excitedly talked about our day. Every detail of the day was met with a judgmental "ugh" from the Waldorf teacher. I very quickly felt like her foot was slowly pressing down on our sunny dispositions. Happiness was not acceptable. I tried to get out of there as fast as I could, but my older daughter was talking to me as well. We were jolly and happy to be together. I was conflicted about leaving my two children in that environment. What choice did I have? Luckily, the children don't notice the fake smiles the Waldorf teacher gives them. I see through her and they are blinded by her quiet and always shooshing demeanor.

  Having 50/50 custody with my ex can be difficult at times. Sometimes the kids want to be at my home when they are with their Dad, and sometimes they want to be with him while they are with me. We choose our new partners and have to accept each other's choices. 

  The girls were staying with him, but I had permission to take my Girl Scout daughter to the largest Girl Scout event of the year, The Cookie Kick Off. We ate pizza, and the girls made sugar tubes packed with fruity and sour sugar powder. We bought a small set for my older daughter. As we went through the booths and exhibits, we were reminded of the long history of the Girl Scouts relationship to America. It must have been a very empowering group back in the early 1900's. They continue the "girl power" mantra today. 

  My daughter wrote a letter to the troops in Afghanistan and I read the beautiful replies from the soldiers to the Girl Scouts. There is a cookie program with the soldiers over seas where you can send boxes of Girl Scout cookies to the troops. They receive thousands of boxes every year. There is a historical relationship between the Girl Scouts and America's military. 

  The most popular spot of the day was the American Girl booth. We entered the raffle to win the new doll, Kanani from Hawaii. The girls waited in long lines to jump in the bouncies and slide down the enormous blow up slides that were set up around the perimeter of the event. The whole event was loud with laughing and screaming girls. Thousands of them! All getting along despite cultural and economic differences. There was the Compton troop chatting and playing with the Pasadena troop. Diversity in action.

  The cookie kick off tee shirts were cute and worded with positive girl messages. So were the cookie earings that smelled like thin mints and samoas. The event was all about teaching girls how to be entrepeneurs (and how to run a convention). Great skills for young girls to learn that are not taught in schools. How to set financial goals, what you plan to achieve personally, decide as a group what the reward will be, learning that group decisions don't always yield your personal preferences, and respect. Loads of respect!

  As soon as my daughter walked in the door of her Dad's house, she was greeted by the Waldorf teacher with a big fake smile. Tense, and not sure what to say to me, she immediately told my daughter to shoosh because her Dad was on the phone. This, obviously, was a difficult thing for us to do after the excitement of the day. We had been singing Disney radio songs the whole way home. Reluctantly, I came in only for a couple of minutes so I could fish out the cookie papers from the Girl Scout bag.

  The teacher sat atop a stool staring at me as I pulled fun items out from the day; earings, flyers, colorful stickers, and the beautiful American Girl doll that my daughter won. Then I saw it. The judgement. Oh yeah! I had forgotten about the Waldorf "better than though" attitude. I handed the powder sugar kit to my older daughter and the teacher groaned. I made a joke to try to lighten the tension, but the teacher was stone faced. Everything in our bright yellow bag was evil and unnecessary. Waldorf teachers eat better, live better, and speak better than us regular folks.

  My older daughter was excited to see me after not having seen me in a few days. The teacher glared at me. I had to leave...quickly. But, before I even made it to the door, she very rudely told me to leave. My daughters were dumbfounded and afraid to hug me goodbye. I was afraid to hug them goodbye. We stared at each other eye to eye as the door slowly closed.

  No porch light. She might as well have had a broom and swept me out the door like a bug.  As I closed the door, I looked at both daughters stunned into silence. It had been a long time since they saw the teacher treat me this way. I was polite. Then I left.

  The whole drive home I thought many things, first of them being: My poor children. They have to live in that controlling environment. The other thoughts were: What is wrong with this person? How can she act that way in front of the kids? Doesn't she know that I am the mother of the two children who live with her? Doesn't she know how her actions affect the children and the family dynamics? 

  Ahhhh... Now I remember.... At Waldorf, the parents are ignorant. It is the teachers who decide how the children should be raised and tell the parents how to do it, even if they have never been a parent. Parents only exist to do the physical work of raising the children. The teachers are chosen, by the children, as their spiritual guides. They are masters of elitism and making parents feel insignificant. I think the teacher actually believes that my children came out of her womb, or her spiritual womb, somehow. The lack of respect towards people outside of the Waldorf menagerie was magnified in that short exchange. Who chooses to live that way? And why? And why do my children have to live under that kind of scrutiny? 

  My daughter and I had had the most incredible day surrounded by thousands of girls being encouraged to do whatever they want in life. Some girl scouts were dressed in full regalia, while others wore their favorite hip clothing along with a sash slung over their shoulders. The moms and dads were supportive and encouraged their young girl scouts to be confident. My daughter was inspired and knew that no matter what she wore, ate, or sang, she was not only supported, but celebrated.

  It is too bad that Waldorf squashes the feminine qualities out of every young girl. While at Waldorf, my daughter was told that she wore too many sparkles in her headband and bright colored shirts were a no no. That parents were complaining about my daughter singing pop songs on the Waldorf campus. I was told by the head of the school that they celebrate women by encouraging them to play with the handmade, beeswaxed swords. Lady Godiva was a hero, and that should be enough inspiration. But any fairy or princess regalia was prohibited. Absolutely no sparkles and a birthday party at Libby Lu was a crime.

  I now know that living in the public school world is great. Kids are who they are and not expected to be something else. They have chorus, and dance class, and say the Pledge of Allegiance. Parents do support the public schools. In droves! I was very surprised by this since Waldorf told us that parents in public school do not care about their children. 

  Everything Waldorf taught us turned out to be a lie and personally, my children and I prefer the real world.